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In my time there was a great nation known as Egypt; when I was preparing to sleep I commanded a great temple created for me to rest in. It was to be pyramidal in shape, and would allow the sun to shine perfectly upon my bed; I loved the feel of the sunlight. I found my temple and knew at once what had awakened me, my pyramid had long since been buried within the sands of the desert, but it had been uncovered and humans were trying to enter it. I almost felt sorry for them, but I don't feel sorrow. As I watched, the invaders brought equipment and dug out the entrance, they tunneled deeper and deeper. I watched from above as they entered the grand atrium and gave them a moment to read the pieces of my life story which were presented on the walls and ceiling."My god... who is buried here? Look at this column, it shows a being to whom the pharaohs bowed." This one tells of 'the day of blood', on this day the ruler was given a sacrifice of blood from the Pharaoh's daughter, or the most, I. At the door to our tent, I climbed to my knees. An upset bride once asked a famous advice columnist, "My husband insists on urinating in our backyard. Why does he do that?"Her answer became the stuff of legend, "Because he can."I shuffled forward and, plumbing in hand, and sprayed the dry, dusty ground of our cave with a monsoon of yellow rain, the first moisture in more than a hundred years.Lighting a cigarette and holding my prick in my right hand, I glanced at my wristwatch. The time glowed a few minutes after 11:30 in the morning. Huh?Had we slept for less than three hours? Puzzled, I examined my lying watch and I noticed tomorrow's date in the tiny square on the dial's surface. Holy shit! We’d been out around the clock and then some."Time flys when you're having fun," I shivered and muttered to myself as I irrigated the powder dry soil. As I drained my waste, an annoying army of goose bumps marched in lockstep across my naked body.Once upon a time, those little bumps at the base.
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